I looked outside the window, giving out a sigh! But then I saw the dew on the pane, and I drew S over it. A drop of tear fell from my eyes, I hurriedly rubbed my eyes. The sound of the bell ringing caught my attention, first session was over and it wasn't good I never understood it; I never understood any lecture since then. I came out with my phone in hand and something guided my finger, I went to your profile and saw the voice message of yours. It was your beautiful voice which said "hey! My shona! Sad nai hona, main hu na aapke paas". I closed my eyes to listen to it. No other music pleased me than your voice, nothing calmed me down than your voice, and how could you always know that I was sad or needed you… how??
Do you remember how I happy I was on that day? When I had dressed up only for you? My friends say, that was the last time I looked so happy and glowing because it was for you. I hated taking pictures but on that day just because I wanted you to see I how I looked I clicked it for you… to make us memories, long lasting memories. My smile widened when you had sent me the reply of my picture, it was the most beautiful compliment I had ever received. I wanted to send you more but the network kept my excitement on bay and even that no connection of college Wi-Fi and the timings it had ruined the moment. I was getting desperate by every passing moment to talk to you…
As soon as I reached my home i uploaded all the photos to the email address of yours and pressed that send button. Time passed I waited and I waited for long, I wanted to hear from you but there was no reply and then I rehearsed my lines to scold you with a big grin on my face when I imagined how you’d try to persuade me, how you’d…
Suddenly on the same day one of my friend called me and asked if anyone was around me? I said "no", being a little confused. But more than her words, my mind was stuck on if you had replied to that email or not. She asked me to sit if i was standing and with a low and weak voice she said "he is no more..." he?! Who was he? My brain went blank, who was he? And this shivering I asked her “who?!” The phone dropped from my hands, everything seemed blank, I pulled myself back and asked her again, and pleading not to say what she said a while ago, but it was in real I had lost you, she said your name….
I still wished like in stories; though they are dead but come to meet you for the one last time. I just wished if something could happen like that so that i could hug you and get peace in your arms. Sorry that I couldn’t come to your funeral, I did not have had the guts to say mom about this. I still refreshed the page every now and then hoping a miracle, a message from you saying all this was false…
Now, I don’t need Wi-Fi or internet packages. I don’t get those shivers when I hear my message tone. I know the 3 words which meant alot 4 us, which won't be heard again. I have even stopped going back home to my mom, cos I want to be alone. I regret all those moments when you said "bas 1 minute ruko na" and I would reply "mumma bula rahi hai". Sadly, I regretted all those moments when you wanted me and i wasn’t present, when you cared about me so much which i wasn’t worth of. And now I have so much of time for you, but not you…
Yours dearest,
Shona…
-me$hal-
Posted on: Kashif Khan's blog on Thursday, 30 October 2014
Edited by: Kashif Khan
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After a long span, I was back with my gibberish writing :P...
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