Comment below to read PART:2 :)...
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He would sit with me every evening near the beach, talking, trying to divert my mind and making me smile...And I would see him with a pity heart...He would talk, he would laugh, he would take me to a ride only to forget my past...My heart would ache watching him try so hard to make me see the world, once again with a smile...
It was 6 in the evening, I was sitting near the shore and then he joined me...I could see what he feels for me but I am not sure if it was the same...My inner me would say me to tell him to save another life but I lacked the guts or maybe I didn’t wanted to talk about my past...”Just ask this one question and then you decide to tell him or not?” my inner me said, “But what will he think about me? If I ask it?” I questioned, “He knows that you are in trauma and will not think anything or else may try to keep distance from you, so that you don’t think anything like this the next time” my inner me answered...
Me: Sahil?...
Sahil: Yup (He replied with his eyebrows raised)...
Me: Why do you spent time with me?...
Sahil: Simply, I get bored...
Me: Oh...
And I thought there was something but there was no such thing going on in his mind...
Sahil: Why?...
Me: Just asking...
Sahil: Okay...
‘Was there nothing such thing? Or is he lying?’ I thought...
Me: You see me only as a friend right?...
‘I am dead, why do I have to ask him like that? Think at least one time before asking, meshal’ I started to feel awkward by then...
Sahil: Yeah (He said casually)...
‘Stupid’ I called myself...
Sahil: Do you see me more than a friend?...
Me: Nooo, obviously no, I...I don’t...
Sahil: (Laughed)...
‘Okay meshal, you need to say now, before he starts thinking more about it’ I thought...
After 5 minute of awkwardness, I spoke...
Me: You know? My boyfriend had a girlfriend...
Sahil: Not all boys are same; some are committed to only one meshal...
Me: No (I laughed), I did not mean that way...
Sahil: I am just telling, if you have started to see all the boys the same way...
Me: No no it’s not that...He was in a relationship before ours, but they broke up due to some reasons and like two strangers we met with a normal hi and hello, I didn’t knew that he would become so much important to me (I paused)...
Sahil: It’s okay, it happens...
Me: Yeah (I replied with a heavy breath)...We would talk for hours and hours, day and night, we didn’t had anything to talk, but we talked only to keep the conversation going...He would then talk about her, describe her features, I did not become jealous at all, I actually fell for it...I fell for him...He would sometimes cry and go mad, I liked to handle him, to make him quiet, that became my habit...I couldn’t see him undergoing through any sort of pain, my heart would just burst at that moment cursing myself that I am not able to keep him happy...
I saw Sahil with a smiling face and he gave a slight smile back...
Me: Days passed, he sometimes talked about her and one fine day proposed me...I couldn’t say ‘No’ because I was so into him and it felt like the best gift I could ever receive (I smirked thinking how mad I was)...My days were at peak of excitement, I was so happy and thanked that girl for giving him to me...
I thought I was saying something more which I shouldn’t because he started to shift his face from one side to another, searching for something to divert his mind...
Me: And after some days, he talked less, I assumed that he was busy, I waited for him to give me time and one day, a day went without his text...And I thought something was going wrong, I asked him if he was fine, and he would say yes and ignore my rest of the talk...After a month or two he said that he need some time off but I didn’t know that he meant break up...
Sahil’s head was low and had kept both of his elbows on the knee...
Me: Listen...
Sahil: Yeah I am listening...
Me: After thinking more and more I got to know that I actually had no place in his life...I was the medicine to her wounds which by then were healed and thus he got to know that he did not love me ever...
Sahil: Okay...
Me: Sahil, I had a point, that’s why I am saying it to you...
Sahil: What point?...
Me: Remember my question? Do you see me only as a friend?...
Sahil: Yeah...
Me: Answer me now truly, yes or no?...
Sahil: I know you don’t have feelings for me, but let me be by your side, I can’t see you like this...
Me: That’s what I too did and now you can see its result...
Sahil: Don’t worry, nothing will happen to me, I can handle...
Me: And you want me to go in depression again, thinking that I broke your heart too?...
We had an eye lock where we let our eyes speak to each other for a while...
Sahil: So, what you want me to do?...
Me: Stay away...
And when I said that, those words pricked me hard...
Sahil: Oh, I didn’t know you would say that...
‘I would, to save anyone from a heart break’ I said in my mind...
Sahil: I think it is a good bye then...
Me: Sahil (I screamed)...
He walked briskly to his car, I couldn’t even get up to stop him as my ankle sprained...
-me$hal-
And here goes the part 1, which wouldn't have been but because I got tired of writing and it went on increasing, it's part 1...Comment below to get part:2...
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