Addicted

My heart started to race as I walked towards my home...I opened the door and saw my mother sitting on sofa, “Hey mumma” I said with a smile and began to walk to my room, “Sana had called me as you weren't receiving her call” mumma said, “Oh, will call her later” I replied...
Mumma: She said that your class got over at 12 o’clock...
‘And why did she have to say that?’ I thought...
Mumma: Where were you?...
Me: In the library, studying...
Mumma: You can study here too right? You have got all the books over here...
Me: It’s some research I am doing on...
Mumma: You can surf on the internet...
That’s what I don’t like, the internet, sometimes I wish if it did not exist at all...
Me: I get distracted using it, so I sit in library and try to focus...
Mumma: So shall I disconnect the Wi-Fi?...
Me: NOOO (screaming)...
I would be dead if Wi-Fi gets cancelled...
Me: Mumma listen, I only study there and do nothing, I need to concentrate...
She walked away and I moved in my room...I know she feels bad when I come late and stay away from home and make excuses to skip food...
Sitting in my room I connected my cell to Wi-Fi and checked if I had received any texts from him...Seeing no notification of his name, I kept my cell aside hoping to concentrate on my studies and took out my books to study, but I would check my cell phone now and then to check if there were any texts, and finally I kept the cell phone facing me so that I don’t have to move from here to there to check my mobile...And then it was time for dinner, I went down to help my mother in serving the dishes...
Mumma: If you have any problem with me then tell me..
I felt bad thinking that she was thinking like that...
Me: No mumma, it’s nothing like that...
Mumma: Then what is it? When you were kid you used to run back home and now you want to stay away...
‘What can I say to my mother? What my problem was? And why was I running away?’ I thought...
Me: Studies get heavy and also the professors give heavy assignments, it’s hard to handle and when I come home I feel so sleepy...
Mumma: Who told you to take up such studies? Household work is so easy; you will be having no tension...
I giggled and so did she...
Done with dinner I went back to my room and checked my cell again...And by that time I was getting mad...I could not remember his number before, but now it is on my mind every time but I can’t call...I would type his number again and again and then erase it...Lying on my bed I would read our previous conversation which I took screenshots of, maybe I had a thought about we may not be talking in future...After passing an hour and still nothing showing up in my mobile I started to cry...’I am going to call him’ I said, ‘No, don’t’ my mind would reply, ‘I am calling him’ I said, ‘Control meshal’ my mind would reply...My heart was quiet because it had lost the fight, my heart which would give me hope that everything will be fine, finally had given up...
It was midnight but not a single text was received, my eyes as well as mobile battery dried and head became heavy, but still I waited hoping that he might appear any time...And finally my eyes closed...
The next day as soon as I got up, I checked my cell to see if there was any text or call from him but it showed me blank...Leaving for the college I told mother “I will try to come home soon” and she smiled...Coming home wasn’t a problem but his memories that attack my mind when I sit alone was...

-me$hal-

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Finally trying to write something -_- (Sleepy)...

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