‘Can you stop here? I want to eat ice cream’ I asked Moin who was dropping me home, ‘No’ he replied in an irritated tone may be because of the notification he was receiving continuously and took U-turn in the next stop.
Moin: Here you go…
Me: I don’t need it, I was trying to distract you because it seemed like you were angry about something…
Moin: I am okay, you just wasted my time…
And we drove while he kept receiving messages every 5 minutes…
On reaching my stop I said ‘Text them back please, they are waiting’ and he drove away…
I rang the bell and mumma opened the door, I said her ‘Hi’ and hugged her and told her that I already had my dinner and then went in my room, kept my phone on charge and went to get fresh… The thought that whether he replied or not was continuously on my mind and as I entered my room, all I did was took my phone and texted him ‘Did you reply?’ which went on seen and not replied… I waited and waited and thought to go to sleep, but sleep was far away, so I decided to check my feed…
‘I did’ came reply an hour later to which I replied ‘Thank you, you have no idea how happy I am right now, thank you’ to which ‘Okay’ was his reply… I don’t know whether this was needed or not but I texted him writing ‘I am sorry, if I forced you, I just didn’t want someone to go sleepless today like I used to once upon a time’, message was seen but there was no reply again but still I wrote to him again ‘If you don’t want to talk to them, say them and if they are still doing it after knowing then it’s their fault’ again seen and not replied, I felt like I have spoken a lot today knowing that it wasn’t actually my business... I thought to switch off my cell phone before I send him anymore messages but he called, I kept my hand on my face thinking ‘What should I do now? What is he going to talk?’ and before the ringing stopped, I picked it up…
Me: Hey…
Moin: Hi…
Me: Wassup?...
‘Ewww what was that?’ I thought in my mind…
Moin: I don’t know what to do? She is just going on texting me…
Me: A friend of yours? Or?...
Moin: Just a friend, just *pause* a *pause* friend…
Me: Okay, Why don’t you say her to not text you? Or what’s the problem if she texts you?...
Moin: I fear, what if she falls for me? You know I am already heart broken and don’t want to break her heart…
Me: Why do you feel that she will fall for you? I know that it’s rare for a girl and a guy to be friend for long time but may be she only wants to be your friend and is treating you like one or why don't you just clarify it?…
Moin: May be and it looks awkward…
Me: What do you mean by may be? Do you see any signs from her?...
Moin: No, but she acts like she is my girlfriend…
Me: Every girl whom they care act like that and sometimes like a mother too, they just, not just about girls, even boys they don’t want to lose anyone, thus they show care, jealousy and all…
Moin: You may be right, it’s just may be in my head…
Me: Are you falling for her? Sorry I know it’s personal question, don’t mind…
There was a pin drop silence which made me think that not the other side but this guy was facing some problem…
Me: Moin?...
Moin: Yes…
Me: Are you?...
Moin: What? No, never…
Me: Sure?...
Moin: Yes…
Me: You are…
Moin: No, okay…
Me: You are…
Moin: May be hmmm...
Moin: Here you go…
Me: I don’t need it, I was trying to distract you because it seemed like you were angry about something…
Moin: I am okay, you just wasted my time…
And we drove while he kept receiving messages every 5 minutes…
On reaching my stop I said ‘Text them back please, they are waiting’ and he drove away…
I rang the bell and mumma opened the door, I said her ‘Hi’ and hugged her and told her that I already had my dinner and then went in my room, kept my phone on charge and went to get fresh… The thought that whether he replied or not was continuously on my mind and as I entered my room, all I did was took my phone and texted him ‘Did you reply?’ which went on seen and not replied… I waited and waited and thought to go to sleep, but sleep was far away, so I decided to check my feed…
‘I did’ came reply an hour later to which I replied ‘Thank you, you have no idea how happy I am right now, thank you’ to which ‘Okay’ was his reply… I don’t know whether this was needed or not but I texted him writing ‘I am sorry, if I forced you, I just didn’t want someone to go sleepless today like I used to once upon a time’, message was seen but there was no reply again but still I wrote to him again ‘If you don’t want to talk to them, say them and if they are still doing it after knowing then it’s their fault’ again seen and not replied, I felt like I have spoken a lot today knowing that it wasn’t actually my business... I thought to switch off my cell phone before I send him anymore messages but he called, I kept my hand on my face thinking ‘What should I do now? What is he going to talk?’ and before the ringing stopped, I picked it up…
Me: Hey…
Moin: Hi…
Me: Wassup?...
‘Ewww what was that?’ I thought in my mind…
Moin: I don’t know what to do? She is just going on texting me…
Me: A friend of yours? Or?...
Moin: Just a friend, just *pause* a *pause* friend…
Me: Okay, Why don’t you say her to not text you? Or what’s the problem if she texts you?...
Moin: I fear, what if she falls for me? You know I am already heart broken and don’t want to break her heart…
Me: Why do you feel that she will fall for you? I know that it’s rare for a girl and a guy to be friend for long time but may be she only wants to be your friend and is treating you like one or why don't you just clarify it?…
Moin: May be and it looks awkward…
Me: What do you mean by may be? Do you see any signs from her?...
Moin: No, but she acts like she is my girlfriend…
Me: Every girl whom they care act like that and sometimes like a mother too, they just, not just about girls, even boys they don’t want to lose anyone, thus they show care, jealousy and all…
Moin: You may be right, it’s just may be in my head…
Me: Are you falling for her? Sorry I know it’s personal question, don’t mind…
There was a pin drop silence which made me think that not the other side but this guy was facing some problem…
Me: Moin?...
Moin: Yes…
Me: Are you?...
Moin: What? No, never…
Me: Sure?...
Moin: Yes…
Me: You are…
Moin: No, okay…
Me: You are…
Moin: May be hmmm...
Me: There's the problem...
Moin: I met her on a social media platform and I don’t know in which world I was and thought to keep her in contact, day after day we kept on texting,talking and literally I forgot about my past, I felt like I was living again, I knew she only wanted a friend and treated me like one but the care she showed just had me, I could literally feel my heart feeling light and butterflies in my stomach until one day my past stood in front of me leading me to break contacts with her, I told her that ‘She will fall for me and she need to leave’ thus I left and this is what is happening now...
Me: Have you ever thought how she might have felt when you said that? Like how she has faced herself like she will never have a friend because of her weird characteristics? Like you knew she only wanted a friend and getting this in reply, what were you thinking?...
Moin: It does hurt me everyday to ignore her but I don’t want her to be hurt, I want her to understand that we are not good and she have to leave and also that I don’t want to create any hopes or fall in love because I feel like I will be betraying my first love…
Me: Betraying? Okay…
Moin: Yes…
Me: Have you ever thought how she might have felt when you said that? Like how she has faced herself like she will never have a friend because of her weird characteristics? Like you knew she only wanted a friend and getting this in reply, what were you thinking?...
Moin: It does hurt me everyday to ignore her but I don’t want her to be hurt, I want her to understand that we are not good and she have to leave and also that I don’t want to create any hopes or fall in love because I feel like I will be betraying my first love…
Me: Betraying? Okay…
Moin: Yes…
I took a pause and instead of thinking in one direction I thought to see it in another direction...
Me: If I see in another way, what you did was right, putting everything on her…
Moin: Are you taunting me?
Me: No, what if you said that you are feeling close to her? How will she react? Hurtful right? Like what did she do? And she will be apologizing every time that she didn’t mean any of those and how will you see her? Like a drama queen asking for attention…
Moin: No, why would I think like that?...
Me: Just saying, because girls don’t get over easily and the other person gets tired of listening the same over again, so what you did was right…
Moin: Hmmm…
Me: But know that if you ever want to go back to her, she won’t be the same person like you will be present in her mind but she might stammer to talk again with you…
Moin: What?...
Me: Like she knows you and she were good friends and she treated you differently but that expression will be gone, she wants to talk to you but you will feel like she is ignoring you or is maintaining distance… The bar will be raised for you, you can break the ice but it will need more effort to bring her back…
Moin: Will not be necessary, I just want her to be in her world and me in mine and also, I won’t commit the mistake again, not with her, not with anybody else…
Me: Hopefully, but at some point, people do look back…
Moin: It’s too late, you need to sleep now…
Me: Moin?...
Moin: Yes…
Me: Don’t hurt her, it will hurt you more…
Moin: Okay, bye…
Me: Bye, thanks…
After keeping the phone, I checked my DM’s and on top was from the person I used to pray to receive text from once upon a time, as I was sleepy, I went back and slept telling myself will reply tomorrow peacefully…
-me$hal-
------------------------------
Keeping this theme in my head for months now and still not able to write it accurately but still want to post this today because I can't carry this burden in my head anymore...
*********************
Follow me to keep up with -me$hal-
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Me: If I see in another way, what you did was right, putting everything on her…
Moin: Are you taunting me?
Me: No, what if you said that you are feeling close to her? How will she react? Hurtful right? Like what did she do? And she will be apologizing every time that she didn’t mean any of those and how will you see her? Like a drama queen asking for attention…
Moin: No, why would I think like that?...
Me: Just saying, because girls don’t get over easily and the other person gets tired of listening the same over again, so what you did was right…
Moin: Hmmm…
Me: But know that if you ever want to go back to her, she won’t be the same person like you will be present in her mind but she might stammer to talk again with you…
Moin: What?...
Me: Like she knows you and she were good friends and she treated you differently but that expression will be gone, she wants to talk to you but you will feel like she is ignoring you or is maintaining distance… The bar will be raised for you, you can break the ice but it will need more effort to bring her back…
Moin: Will not be necessary, I just want her to be in her world and me in mine and also, I won’t commit the mistake again, not with her, not with anybody else…
Me: Hopefully, but at some point, people do look back…
Moin: It’s too late, you need to sleep now…
Me: Moin?...
Moin: Yes…
Me: Don’t hurt her, it will hurt you more…
Moin: Okay, bye…
Me: Bye, thanks…
After keeping the phone, I checked my DM’s and on top was from the person I used to pray to receive text from once upon a time, as I was sleepy, I went back and slept telling myself will reply tomorrow peacefully…
-me$hal-
------------------------------
Keeping this theme in my head for months now and still not able to write it accurately but still want to post this today because I can't carry this burden in my head anymore...
*********************
Follow me to keep up with -me$hal-
Nice.
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